Chain Smoker

by Joan Smith

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I wrote this song a long time ago for the sole purpose of playing it to myself.

This was recorded a few years ago in a bathroom on my camera.....

I'm still really into the lyrics.


this is a girl who's been beaten and battered
you're taking advantage
and taking advantage
i gave up my heart for the first time
in oh so long

i didn't want it all but you made me an addict
one time and then two and you're holding my hand and
you stand at the door and it's just like i've had it
cause letting you go's just become such a task

and i feel all these things
and you say all these words
i believe them, i see them
but then it's a mystery
when you're following through on all that you can get
and the taste in my mouth is a stale cigarette

does that make any sense?
when i'm at odds and ends?
like i said, it's been a while
and if i'm cramping your style
i know pain like the back of my hand

so tell me to run
if i'm just what you want because i like to let my feelings get the best of me
and my chest evens out the rest of me - hey

i doubt that i'll run
cause my butterflies and the looks in your eyes when we're sitting alone
it couldn't be that i feel this and you don't

so when you're in transit and all that green drips
out of your lips and courses through your fingertips;
i exist, babe
i exist, babe

i don't understand it, i know you're hot shit but
do i mean enough to you to push past that feeling in your gut?
for whatever reason,
i'm prone to forgiveness

maybe i don't have the guts
to ask you straight up for your heart
but i'm sort of a mess over you, babe
so it hurts when i'm a smoke in a chain.


released November 22, 2013



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Joan Smith Boston, Massachusetts

sad sometimes.

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