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from by Joan Smith

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lyrics

Back in the day, 2004, I was sitting by the window of our music class, waiting for your note. I couldn’t pay attention to all the other kids playing Crazy Train. I don’t remember our teacher’s name, but when I think back, what I know for sure is that we both were bi in middle school, walking to the Dollar Store in tight jeans at midnight, thinking, ‘Things won’t ever change for us.’ My eyelash falls, I make a wish that me and Susie M. Will kiss. I only hope that you don’t get her. // Maybe if I wait til locker time to plant a kiss on Ashley’s lipgloss, we’d be hiding in plain sight. The thing is, I hope Jeff from down the street doesn’t catch a glimpse of us. He’s got these religious parents. Do you think my mom might find out? MySpace was the only place I wanted to come out when we both were bi in middle school, walking ‘cross the traintracks in our slip-ons, back to your house, thinking, “Emo boiiz are what we want.’ In gym class, I was on the bleachers making eyes at Joey Baker. Little did I know, he asked you to the dance on AOL last night. // We both were bi in middle school. Whether or not I tattoo ”2-0-0-4” on my body, I will still relate to your zippered band hoodie. Things will change a little bit, I know. I prefer chicks, you prefer dicks, and we’ll still meet up at the carnival.

credits

from Little Wounds, released February 9, 2017

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Joan Smith Boston, Massachusetts

sad sometimes.

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